Ladies and Gentlemen, my vote for the best worst movie ever
The Long Kiss Goodnight
Starring Gena Davis and Samuel Jackson, LKG tell the story of Samantha Cain (Davis) a housewife with amnesia who tries to find out who she used to be.
*Spoiler Alert*
Long story short she turns out to be a government trained assassin who has now become the target of her former employers and must use all of her training as well as the help of Mitch Henessy (Jackson) to survive... you know, that old yarn.
Now just to put it outthere, this movie is pretty bad... who bad you ask? So bad that at one point Davis steal a pair of figure skates, skates down a river to catch up with a car full of bad guys, does a double axle and shoots them all... no seriously.
That being said this movie features such gems as
"Die screaming motherfucker"
"The last time I got blown, candy bars cost a nickel"
"I never did one thing right in my life, you know that? Not one. That takes skill."
"Mitch: Oh, shit! Ah, that hurt like shit!
Samantha: I know. That's why I distracted you first. Same principle as deflowering virgins.
Mitch: Huh? What? Virgin - ? What?
Samantha: Read it in this Harold Robbins book. Guy bites her on the ear. Distracts from the pain. Ever try that?
Mitch: No, no, I sock 'em in the jaw and yell, "Pop goes the weasel.""
"Alley Agent: Good evening, pretty lady. How 'bout some company?
Charlie: No thanks. I'm saving myself 'til I get raped."
And of course
All in all a must see for any bad movie night.
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